Wonderland, Meet Fanfiction!
by xxXMythiaXxx
Summary: I really need to rethink my life a little better, as I show Wonderland the fanfiction world. By 'I,' I mean myself. The author, xxXMythiaXxx. Everyone, please read it and weep...of laughter...or maybe not.


**Summary: I really need to rethink my life a little better, as I show Wonderland the fanfiction world. By 'I,' I mean myself. The ****_author,_**** xxXMythiaXxx. Everyone, please read it and weep...of laughter...or maybe not.**

**Mia: OMG...another idea in the middle of the night...sheesh, this might just be a habit to me. -_-" Can't this wait later, me?!**

**Julius: You ****_do_**** realize that you're scolding yourself, right?**

**Mia: Mhm, I do that a lot, you know. Oh, and for the first time ever, I will actually put myself in 'human' form in the story! Why I put quotation marks in human, I really don't know...well, I really hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own anything but the idea! **

**HOPE YOU READ THIS: This chapter mentions stories from a good friend, Fate Pwns You! I OWN NOTHING!**

**I hope you got the message.**

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Chapter One: Fate Pwns You

To start off, my name's xxXMythiaXxx, and you can go ahead and remove the dumb x's.

I get random ideas in the middle of the night (yes, 1 or 2 am) that keep me up until morning. I find it utterly stupid, but hey, it nags at me until I can't stand it anymore. I keep yawning and my eyes are baggy, and the laptop's blinding light's not helping me log on. However, I have to do it if I want proper sleep for the rest of the freaking night.

Falling down the rabbit hole's not necessary because I'm too lazy. Plus, I'm just too darn chicken to get over my fear of heights.

If you read my other fanfics, then you'd know that I like to add myself in the story. They refer to me as 'Mia' because that's my nickname in real life, the irony. By 'they,' I mean the Role Holders and precious dear Alice the blue-eyed brunette that happens to be a foreigner.

"What are you doing here?" Ah, the simplicity and often asked question. Just happened to slip past the cold, stiff demeanor of the clock-fixing, blue-haired mortician. "Aren't you going to answer me?"

I blink, shifting my attention swiftly to the impatient crabby pants. "Meh, I would, but it's not a law that I must. However, I will for the almighty Julius." Through his square lenses, his cobalt eyes questionably glare at me.

"If you're not going to answer and just sit there," he sighs, "then I'd like it if you leave."

"You know, if you really wish for me to leave, then command me to do so," I respond with a shrug. "Well, you want to know what I'm doing here. Simply watching you, but you're probably wondering what I'm thinking. You need to know what a phone is, Julius."

"I wasn't wondering that," Julius mutters while fixing a clock with a small tool, and attempting to turn the gears if they ran smoothly. "Neither do I give a care about this 'phone' you speak of. Go bother someone else."

I sigh stubbornly, yet subtly. "Sigh~" Yes, I said sigh, to Julius' dismay. "On this phone, there's information about you. So much information that you never even knew about yourself," I coax.

Julius then dropped his tool in agitation, and glared at me, yanking his spectacles off. "_Get. Out,_" he seethes.

Just now, I feel like this story needs cell phone service. My phone suddenly rings, just when the mortician was about to pick his tool back up. My ringtone's the sound of elmo, saying, "I'm coming to your house!"

Julius' eyes grows in shock, as he gapes at me. "You better have a good explanation as to why you made that sound without any movement of your lips."

"My my, Julius," I chirp while wagging my pointer finger side to side. "Tsk tsk...you're really slow."

"What do you mean?"

"That wasn't me, and if it was it'd be called ventriloquism."

"I know what that is."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Just tell me what the f* phone is."

I gasp dramatically at the blunette's coarse language. Eventually, I drop the act. "You're no fun, Julius. Lighten up for once, I beg ya," I slightly complain, turning on my phone and checking for the missed call. "Aw man, that's my mom. She wants to know where I am..." I text my mom (don't judge, I'm below 18 and live with her, and I HAPPEN TO LOVE HER VERY MUCH AND APPRECIATE WHAT SHE DOES FOR ME) while saying it aloud for the exasperated man to hear. "I am in...Wonder...land...mom. I'll be...home...at round 6. Depends...if the time...change...ever comes. Love ya! Heart sign, happy face."

I smile in satisfaction. "Why are you tapping on glowing glass?" Julius asks while glancing only once at my super awesome device I cannot imagine living without.

Ugh, this story's starting to lose its purpose. Time to speed things up! "ALICE!" I scream. Julius suddenly pales, wondering wildly why I'd do something so loud and obnoxious for absolutely no possible reason. Well, I have a reason, dumbhead! Just not telling you quite yet. Hang tight, shaddy.

Alice dashes in the room, her face filling with concern and worry. "Mia! Did something happen!?" she cries as she inspects my face and sees Julius. "Mia...?"

"I wanna show you two something!" I exclaim excitedly. "But we're waiting for someone. Just in advance, don't kill me for magically summoning him."

Cue...Ace! I like the creepy, bloody, perverted, idiotic, directionally-challenged idiot!

The doors swing open, revealing a tall man in a bloody, tattered beige cloak and a mask that only showed his smiling murderous face. "Mia! You called, milady?" he asks as he playfully bows.

"You called Ace!?" Alice yells in anger and horror as she gives me a look with _many_ mixed expressions that are hard to put into words. "Honestly, of all people!"

Julius sighs tiredly, worked out from the work and the frustrating day. Hey, when I'm stubborn to leave, I stay stubborn until I get bored. "Can't we never do this? Have three people in my office? Or even one?"

I laugh whole-heartedly, patting Julius' shoulder in an awkward manner, considering he's what, almost six feet or something and I'm barely 5'4. "You guys! No need to be grumpy. I have something interesting to tell that'll blow your brains out!" I sing.

Ace jumps in place. "Ooh, what's it about?" he questions excitedly.

"You know when I tilt my head like this," Alice mutters quite loudly for the people close to hear, "Mia and Ace make the same expression, almost in sync..."

"I heard that," I deadpan, "and I'm not a psychotic perverted mess." Ace isn't the slightest bit fazed by my words, as I clear my throat and cheerfully continue. "Ahem, anyhoo, I'd like to ask a question! Does anyone know what _**'fanfiction'**_ is?"

"Ooh ooh ooh! I know this one!" Ace exclaims as he snaps his fingers. "It's a fan base where you make up your own alternative version of a story, like an Alternate Universe or a one-shot with a pairing! Like Me and Alice!"

For the first time, I slip my funny mask off. "Whoa...you actually got that right," I say in disbelief. Alice and Julius then stare at me and the knight, and make their conclusion that I'm somehow related to Ace. I'd like to interfere to pop their assumption bubbles, but I'd like to know how it feels for people to see Ace and I as siblings, ha ha.

Then, shaking her thoughts off, Alice repeats, "Fanfiction? Pairings like Ace and I? What's that about...?!" Her face suddenly flushes a bright red, and I laugh. Ah, how I love going into the anime world. I wish I can stay there forever, but my mom refuses to live in the anime world. Since I love her (and she cooks the best food EVER), I shall stay with her until the time comes and she comes to pass. Oh, and my dad too. Though he wants to live here...sob.

Okay, this is clearly going nowhere.

"Alright all of you," I interrupt while turning my phone back on. I sign in on my fanfiction account, and see a message. "Ooh, a message - uh...never mind that, I'll look at that later." I sheepishly laugh, and then scroll to my favorites. "HnKnA fanfics are the BEST!"

"HnKnA?"

"Fanfics?"

"I'll explain all that crud sooner of later! And it's later!" I yell as I impatiently wait for the lagged internet page to load. "You're an iPhone 5! You're supposed to love me! I took care of you, and even gave you a pretty gold case!"

Julius deadpans. "She's talking to glowing glass..."

"I'm right here you know," I grunt as I wait...and then pop! Chapter 1 of 'Bedtime Stories' by Fate Pwns You is right on my face! "Okay, here it is."

"It would be nice if you told us what it is Mia," Alice suggests as she sits on the small dark green couch that Julius has on a side of the room.

I nod, "Right. Okay, to make this really quick, there's a story about all of the Role Holders and you Alice. This story is written by a friend of mine called 'Bedtime Stories.' I'm reading it to you."

"A story!" Ace chirps as he carelessly sits on the edge of Julius' desk, to the mortician's fury.

This is the time when you pull up a new tab and search for Fate Pwns You's profile and check out 'Bedtime Stories' and read and review as I read it to the three people in the room.

La da dee da~ How's your day? Huh, reading a pointless yet funny (admit it, it's oddly compelling) chapter of a new fanfic? That's nice to know, though I kinda predicted that. Maybe you're in a bummer mood and this chapter's (hopefully) cheering you up?

Doo doo doo~ Okay, enough of the Cruddy Mccrud. Ha, I got that from Noddy McNodderson! Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay...man, I'm laughing too much without actually laughing...

I finish reading several of the chapters, skipping some parts I know Alice might not want to hear...like the author's notes! And I read the rest. Ace was laughing his bass off the entire time, pointing to Alice and Julius occasionally. I skip the Hansel and Gretel chapter and the Nutcracker chapter (hey that rhymed), knowing that they might just ask a million more questions on top of the other trillions of questions in their mind.

"Okay, out of all of the questions I have in mind about being perverted," Alice says while clenching her teeth in overwhelmth (not a word, but I just wanted to give it a try), "why did I say that the poor faceless boy was a homosexual storyteller?" (If you wanted to know, it was from Rapunzel's chapter with Sidney Black)

That's it. It makes Ace cry in laughter. I must say, I want to shed a tear of bliss myself, but I try to hold it in for sanity's sake. "He...deserved it? I don't know."

"You do know that Alice doesn't know Sidney, or Jericho right?" Julius inquires.

I ignore the question, more like didn't hear it over Ace's comments. "Vivaldi was Snow White! Man, she fits the old hag better! It's funny that Alice was the Evil Queen though! And Blood was the Wicked Witch of the West! Perfect role, may I say!

"I know, right?" I join in, which makes Alice question me with the most calm way possible. However, that rapidly vanishes.

"And Boris being Prince Charming! It just cut off right there because the faceless boy felt like it! Ahahahaha!" Ace chortles in the background.

"More like because his little sister fell asleep..." Julius stops talking after that, rubbing his painful headache caused by Ace. I had nothing to do with it...I'm such a terrible liar. I'll get that fixed by my mom...she's a soothing psychologist...wow, I need to make better lies. Or should I just be overly truthful from now on?

Alice sighs sharply. "Well, that was something," she remarked while trying to breathe from the weird story.

"Can you get me one of those magic mirror things?" Ace asks, still wiping some tears of amusement.

I shrug. "My allowance is cut short, but I'm in my saving mode, so...sure, I'll ask my mom," I reply, smiling. He thanks me and brings me to a hug, and like Peter, I kind of like my own space. "Hey, get off Ace! The blood on your cloak's still wet!" I choke in his death hug. Alice tries pulling me, and already forgives me for traumatizing her for life.

"Hey Mythia," Ace says, bringing my attention.

"Hm?"

"If you were in a fanfic, would you be called the OC?"

Wow, he's getting things correct lately. I wonder if he's been having a diet, or if he's sober or something...I stare into those pools of blood red eyes, as he abruptly laughs, startling me and my trance. "U-Uh, yeah..."

"You're correct _again_!?" Alice cries, clutching her forehead. "That's it, I'm going to the mansion to borrow some books to keep my mind off of...things." She cutely glares at me before informing me, "Don't ever read such scarring things to me Mia. EVER."

"Oh, then I should definitely _not_ read this fanfic where you fall off a tree, triggering you to think that you're five years old," I mumble loudly for her to hear.

She stops walking, and whips her head to me in pure horror. "Me!? I did what?!"

Never mind...until NEXT TIME! Da da da!

*Fades to Black*

*Credit Music*

*Scrolling Actors, producers...meh*

*That quickly comes up, rewinding some things and it takes place with me and Alice going to the Hatter's*

"Wait a minute," Alice mutters as she stops, causing me to bump into her. "...MIA!? What in the hell are you doing here? I didn't even see you follow me!"

I laugh, wiping a shedding tear. "I just wanted to see your reaction to another one of Fate's stories." Alice glares at me while sighing.

"Is it going to scar me for life, because I'd appreciate it if it isn't," Alice...asks? I give her a hand tilting for an answer.

"Eh...well...maybe not for you but...oh never mind, iki masho," I say. (iki masho = let's go)

"You're fluent in Japanese?"

"Hai."

"Then what am I doing?"

"I dunno, standing in the middle of three territories?"

Alice groans, dragging her feet to the Hatter Mansion. I frolick along, passing her and meeting with the twins. "Tada ima~!" I greet Dee and Dum, who drop their scythes to hug me in response. (tada ima = I'm home~!)

"Onee-chan!" they exclaim, "you're back! And in human form too!"

"I don't see you guys often, do I?" I question, mostly to myself. "I'm writing that as my to-do list in life. Meet up with the twins more often...in human form." I jot the side note down on my notepad, thanking the anime world for allowing me to do random things and make them appear out of nowhere. I place the notepad on my back pocket of my ripped jeans, allowing the pencil to disappear in my palm.

"You're really used to the magic here, huh?" Alice asks as she walks closer. The twins let go of me to greet her, as I head inside.

On the way, I meet Elliot. "Hey Elliot, can you show me to Blood?" I request. He shrugs while nodding, gesturing for me to follow him. His face was stern and silent, and I couldn't help but ask, "Ne, Elliot-san? Daijobu des ka?" (Are you all right?)

His face turns to me in surprise. "Have you been watching anime recently? Cause you do that when you have."

"Yep! Uta no Prince-Sama, and I'm absolutely in love!" My face heats up as I make an otaku squeal. "STARISH FOREVER! The only boy band that would make me go gaga! Forget 1D or Justin Bieber!"

"This is why you don't have crushes in real life, huh?"

"Pfft, like I would without it!" I huff while laughing. Alice and the twins catch up with the two of us, and we all head to Blood's office.

Skipping the process there, we end up in Blood's office, with the green-eyed monster inside. "Hey, Martian!" I greet, making Elliot gasp and Blood's lovely alien vein to pop out. "I was wondering what you'd like to learn from me today."

"I'd rather kill you, be glad that you're a foreigner," he darkly mutters. I am, actually! If I wasn't, I wouldn't even exist here and that would mean that my parents didn't show enough love, and...wow, thanks Fate, now I'm perverted.

I shrug. "Mkay...anyway, I'd like to read all of you a story!"

Alice deadpans. "NO! YOU ARE NOT READING ONE OF YOUR LIFE-SCARRING STORIES!" she screams, making Elliot try to comfort her by letting her rub his ears in pain.

"Life-scarring? Oh ho, you have now captured my attention, my lady," Blood chuckles, his eyes bearing on mine.

I blink. "...'my lady?' Isn't that what Jinguugi-san says? Now that I think about it..." I stare into his eyes, zoning out on his face, "...you look like him."

"Who, miss?"

"The **R** in **STARISH**, Jinguugi Ren," I reply. I watched the two seasons in one day, loving it the entire time and wasting my day. However, they are all so sexy I couldn't take my eyes off them. The comments about yaoi was disgusting though.

If you haven't seen it or even heard of it, you heard it from me! Please watch it and cover your nosebleed and cool your blushing cheeks from it! _**Uta no Prince**** Sama, **_remember that!

Blood nods very slowly, and so I just start reading 'Alice in the Country of Kids' to them, skipping the gay part because I show mercy on the mafia boss. Plus, I think that he's going to kill me more harshly if I do. Not that I would be finishing this story alive.

Haha, it seems that I survived this one, because I finish this wonderful story by Fate Pwns You.

"Man, Alice saw us naked!"

"Brother, she changed out diapers!"

"I didn't see you naked!" Alice cries in exasperation. "That was just a fanfic guys! Blood wasn't comforting me, and I definitely didn't corrupt Ace! His hair isn't soft! This is just unrealistic..."

"So you've touched his hair? I wonder how, w*," Blood says with a chuckle as Alice tries to strangle him.

"We must've been the worst boys," Dee mumbles sadly.

I huff, "Oh, come on! I'm a baby sitter! Trust me, you're not even half as bad as the other ones I treated. Plus, I'd like it if you braid my hair sometime, it's talent for two-year-olds to do that."

"But she changed our diapers!"

"So? I had to do that so much that I don't even care if I see Blood's at his age now..." I blush. That wasn't supposed to be said.

"You might just see mine sometime so that I can see your color-drained expression," Blood lowly mutters. I am so mean today.

"We didn't need diapers! We were potty-trained at that age, right brother?" Dum asks frantically, so my amusement.

"Apparently, you mean potty-in-training," I laugh. Dee and Dum whine to their heart's content.

Elliot just stammers things, along the lines of, "Blood and Vivaldi are sisters? Julius likes planting mines? Ace wasn't an idiot until Alice told him to be a goofy idiot? The d* twins were babies?"

"Yep!" I startle him, as he replies with a "GAH!"

"I have no sister, miss," Blood curtly corrects. Pfft...come on, it was in the manga, the anime movie (If you haven't watched it yet, never watch it because you'd be wasting 2 hours of your life), and possibly in the game (I don't know...there are no video walkthroughs posted anywhere, the game itself is expensive, and I don't know how to read Japanese...I can speak fluently though!).

The world was then corrupted from my storytelling...well at least in this room. I quietly slip out of the bickering room, and walk out of the mansion, as I wonder:

_Who should I read to next?_

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**Myth: Wow...I'm such a lazy butt. I hope Fate doesn't mind me borrowing her (I'm assuming, because it'd be awkward if she wasn't a girl) 'end thing' for only this chapter, since it ties in with this. It was like, in the middle, lol.**

**PLEASE LOOK AT HER STORIES IF YOU HAVEN'T EVER BEFORE! THEY ARE SUPER FUNNY!**

**Review, folks~**

**PM me if you'd like me to 'read' one of your stories to another set of Role Holders, or if you recommend one for me so that I can ask! XD**


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